


Ordinary World

by supershadsy



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Dealing With Loss, Dream Sequence, Found Family, Heartache, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-04 21:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18820711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supershadsy/pseuds/supershadsy
Summary: Cloud has finally grown accustomed to his family in Edge, but a peculiar, strong dream questions how much emotional progress he's made. Has he truly coped with losing the ones he loves? Or is it a constant facade, breaking and bending?





	1. Thought I heard you calling softly.

**Author's Note:**

> Doing a few different things with this work. Playing a bit with the narration style, the chapter style, and the titles. All the chapters are bite sized--it's for flavor. This whole piece is inspired by Duran Duran's 1993 hit ["Ordinary World"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqIACCH20JU), off "The Wedding Album". We're reviving and remixing the fabled songfic, folks. Also, in case it's not clear, this is post-DoC by about a year or so.
> 
> Enjoy!

When Cloud entered 7th Heaven again in the middle of the afternoon, Tifa was there to greet him. “Welcome back,” she said as she rinsed a glass. “There’s one more delivery for you today.” 

“Sounds good,” he replied. “In the back?” 

“Yup!”

He continued his stride through the kitchen, stripping his gloves off to stretch his hands, and his eyes drifted to the kitchen table. He was surprised to see Denzel there, homework spread in front of him. “Hey,” he said, brushing his hand through his hair. “You’re home already?” 

Denzel lifted his head, still keeping Cloud’s hand on it. “It’s almost 3, so yeah,” he said. Then, he pushed his papers aside and stood up. “Can I come with you on your last one?” 

“Well…” He looked to Tifa, who shook her head. “Not this time. Looks like you’ve got some stuff to finish up.” 

“Aw, c’mon…” He crossed his arms and pouted. “I’ll just do it later!” 

“If you finish it  _ now,  _ maybe Cloud will take you for a little ride around when he’s done working,” Tifa rephrased. She leaned against the sink with her back to it, and winked at Cloud. “What do you say, Dad?” 

There was some pride that came with that moniker, and while he was sure it still read on his rapidly warming cheeks, he tried to keep a straight face. “We’ll see,” he managed to say. 

Denzel huffed and plopped back down into the chair. “Fine,” he sighed. “When are you gonna teach me to ride the bike?” 

“When you’re a little taller,” Cloud said with a smirk. “You have to reach all the pedals first.”

“It won’t be too long,” Tifa added. “I bet he’s gonna grow like a weed once he hits high school.” 

Tifa wandered over to Cloud as soon as Denzel halfheartedly returned to his homework, her fingertips brushing his waist. “You’re in a pretty good mood today,” she murmured.

“Yeah, I feel all right,” Cloud replied.  _ For once,  _ he didn’t add. It was better to take the good days as they came, to enjoy them, rather then analyze them. He rolled his shoulders back, stretching his chest. “My neck and shoulders ache a little.” 

“Barret can give you a massage when you get back.”

“That sounds good.” He leaned into her. “Where is he?” 

“Downstairs. Take something if it’s really bugging you, okay? You’ve been riding a lot.” 

“I might.” He turned around and sighed. “Maybe I’m getting too old for this.” 

Tifa snorted. “Cloud, you’re 25.” 

“And?” 

He smiled though, and it spread a little wider as Tifa giggled. He kissed her cheek, and she responded by turning his face with her hand and kissing his mouth, soft yet quick. “Go on, finish up,” she said, smoothing down his shirt. “We’ll be waiting.” 

“Okay,” he said. “See you soon.” 

He continued through the kitchen, out through the door and jogged down the stairs. The garage was open, and Barret was already loading up his last delivery to the back of his bike. “It’s small but heavy,” he said. “Some idiot who wanted ten copies of the same book…” 

Cloud chuckled to himself. “Weird,” he said. “Who’s it for?” 

“There’s no real name on it. Just says ‘G’ and the address. It’s gonna take you to the outskirts again.”

“That’s fine. I like that drive.” 

Marlene’s voice echoed from the back, steadily getting closer and oscillating with the pounding of heavy footsteps.  _ “Cloooooooud!”  _ she cried. She rounded the corner of the garage and barrelled into his leg, hugging it. “Cloud!” 

“Marlene,” Cloud replied, looking down.

She giggled, pink ribbon bouncing in her hair. “I’m coming with you,” she stated.

“I don’t think so, hon,” Barret said, patting her shoulder and pulling on it gently. Reluctantly, Marlene let go and stayed at her father’s side. “It’s pretty dangerous on a bike like that.” 

“So?” she said. 

Cloud chuckled. “She’s a daredevil,” he said, putting his riding gloves back on. “I can see her riding this more than Denzel.” 

“Maybe someday.” Barret’s smile was apprehensive down at Marlene, but loosened as his eyes reached Cloud. “Last one, right?” 

“Last one.” 

Barret opened his arms, and they hugged briefly and tightly in the garage. His hands lingered on his back, while Cloud’s lingered on his arms. “See you in a bit, Spike,” he said, then brushed his hand over top of his hair. 

“Yeah.” Cloud smiled out of the corner of his mouth, then took his riding goggles from his neck to adjust them over his eyes. 

“Bye-bye!” called Marlene. “Daddy says he’s cooking dinner so make sure you’re home!” 

“Oh yeah?” Cloud mounted his bike and turned the key. Gently, he twisted the throttle, and the engine caught, resulting in exhaust filled roar. When it mellowed to a purr, he shouted over it. “Better make sure it’s something good!” 

With that, he waved with two fingers, and rolled his motorcycle out into the street. 


	2. Still I can't escape the ghost of you.

There was a lot Cloud enjoyed about his delivery job. He made his own schedules generally, and he got to ride his pride and joy for most of the day. Fenrir hummed beneath him with the tone that only a well-kept motorcycle possessed, cruising along the very outskirts of Edge and Midgar’s city limits. He was tuned into every twitch of speed, the timing of shifting gears, and the wind of the road ahead of him. With earplugs to dull the deafening sound of the wind and goggles to protect his eyes, it left him to focus on the road, and occasionally dip into his own thoughts. 

_ It’s been peaceful lately,  _ he thought.  _ After the Geostigma, and that stint with Deepground, it’s been quiet. I’ve been able to live what I think people would call a “normal life”. Whatever that really means.  _ He downshifted as houses began popping up on the countryside.  _ I’ve got Tifa and Barret…and Denzel and Marlene. It’s a nice family. Even when things get bad, they’re always there for me. I’d do anything for them.  _

_ But still… _

Yellow caught the corner of his eye, and he looked up to see a field full of lilies. They swayed in the wind, and in the distance, he swore he caught a flash of pink. He blinked, and it was past him, gone in his side mirrors without a trace. The only pink around him now was the ribbon tied around his arm.  _ Still… _

_ (“It’s okay,” Tifa said, rubbing his back. “I miss her, too. I miss her every day.” _

_ Cloud covered his mouth and nodded, tears brimming at his eyes, but unable to fall…) _

_ …that’d be too perfect if she were here too, wouldn’t it? Or even if it were  _ both  _ Aerith…and Zack. What I’d do to see them smile again... _

_ It’s asking for too much, I know. _

_ But wouldn’t it be a perfect world? _

The countryside had turned into suburbia, and he gunned down a couple more gears to scan more closely for the houses.  _ What am I complaining for? I miss them, and I wish I could’ve spent more time with them, but…time goes on. We do the best with the time we have. _

_ All things considered, I’m pretty lucky.  _

Cloud slowed his bike to a crawl, coasting in neutral before turning off the engine.  _ The place is right up here.  _ It was a two story house on the corner between two empty lots. The grass was yellowed and parched, and the only plant life on it was a gnarled tree with a nest at the top of it. The house itself was the biggest one within sight, however, and was well kept.  _ Pleasant.  _ He unloaded the package off the back of his bike. As Barret had warned him, it was heavier than it looked, so he heaved it in both hands and approached the door. 

There was a large, brass door knocker on the front of the rusty red door, and he chose to use it instead of the doorbell on the side.  _ Is that shaped like Bahamut’s head?  _ he thought as he waited for a response.  _ It’s cool, but a little gaudy. Who lives here who wants a bunch of copies of the same book? Maybe a professor? An author? _

Cloud knocked again, and waited. His arms started to feel stiff, and the pain in his shoulders and back began to feel more pronounced.  _ Come on, come out here so I can get back on the road.  _ Somewhere behind him, a crow cawed, loud and grating. He set the package on the ground and dusted his gloves.  _ Well, whoever you are, ‘G’, hopefully you’ll get your shit before it rains.  _

He took one step backwards when a rummaging came from behind the door, and it finally opened. The man who opened it was wearing nothing but a pair of white long pants, and had outrageously tall, spiked white hair. He strongly reminded Cloud of a washed-up rock star. “What?” the man asked. 

Cloud raised an eyebrow. “Package,” he replied, pointing.

“Huh? I didn’t order anything.” He looked down at the box, then back at Cloud. They stared at each other for at least a minute. “Wait. You look...familiar.” 

Cloud admitted to himself that even though he swore he didn’t know anyone who would willingly answer a door shirtless and in sparkling white disco pants, this character  _ did  _ look vaguely familiar.  _ It’s from something recent if I can remember it. Most of my memories from between when I joined Shinra and Meteorfall are hazy.  _ “Yeah,” Cloud replied slowly. “Uh…”

The other squinted at him, then cocked his head. “You helped Vincent out,” he said. 

_ Ah, there it is.  _ “Right. And you were giving him a hard time,” Cloud replied.  _ This guy’s Weiss. Weiss the Immaculate, or something stupid like that. That whole thing with Omega, and…wait a minute. Vincent destroyed it, didn’t he? So…  _ “Why are you alive?” 

“Why are any of us alive?” Weiss retorted lazily. 

Cloud shook his head. “Look, I was given this address, to deliver this package to ‘G’--”

“‘G’?” Weiss curled his lip, then picked up the box with one hand. “Oh, for fuck’s sake-- _ hey, Genesis!  _ Your stupid books are here!” He looked back into the house and shouted again.  _ “Gen!”  _

There was a  _ thud  _ from somewhere, Cloud couldn’t place it, but a figure strolled out from the back of the house with his hands behind his back. He was wearing a long red coat that flowed behind him, and his blue eyes had a particular sheen over them that Cloud recognized instantly.  _ Mako. Another SOLDIER?  _

“They aren’t  _ stupid,”  _ the man said, brushing his red-auburn bangs out of his eyes. “They are priceless. You can’t just find these anywhere.”

“Newsflash: no one cares about LOVELESS anymore,” Weiss groaned, then shrugged and strutted back inside the house. “Whatever.” 

The man, who Cloud assumed to be “Genesis”, turned to him and looked him over. “You delivered these?” he asked.

“Yeah.” 

He raised his chin. “Hm. Do I need to sign?” 

“No.” 

Cloud had no idea why this man was studying him so hard, but he had never wanted to escape so quickly.  _ He looks kind of like one of the Sephiroth remnants I had to fight a couple years ago. The leader, Kadaj. But at the same time, he looks totally different. It’s just a coincidence.  _ It still didn’t quite quell how hard his heart was pumping. 

“You’re Cloud Strife,” Genesis stated. 

It wasn’t necessarily a secret--”STRIFE DELIVERY SERVICE” was stamped right on the side of the box. “That’s me,” he said, taking another step back. “I’m gonna…go.”

“Very well,” he replied, eyes turning to slits the further he backed away.

_ What a strange guy.  _ Cloud maintained eye contact for just a second longer, then turned around and hustled back to his bike. 

“‘Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess,’” Genesis recited behind him, “‘we seek it thus, and take to the sky…’”

He whirled around, but both Genesis and the package were gone without a trace.  _ A really strange guy.  _ He shook his head and mounted his motorcycle.  _ Thank Gods this is the end of the day, anyway. Time to go home.  _

As he lifted his foot to put up the kickstand, a black feather revealed itself crushed in the dirt. He paid it no mind. Another crow cawed from the nest in the gnarled tree, and Cloud masked the sound with the revving of Fenrir’s engine. 


	3. But I won't cry for yesterday,

Later that evening, Cloud sat cross-legged in his king sized bed, with his hand clasped in Tifa’s, and Barret behind him massaging his shoulders. His head lolled to the side and down at his chest. “You were right, Ti,” he said, “this  _ was  _ a good idea.” 

“You should take a day off,” Barret advised, digging his thumb into his shoulder. With the gun removed from his short arm, he used that to massage his other shoulder just as deeply. “Being hunched over that bike is gonna do this to you.” 

“I like it, though,” Cloud replied with a small pout. 

Tifa chuckled and rubbed her thumb in his palm. “It might be a good idea. Why don’t you take a couple days? Make a weekend out of it. It’s been a little slow on deliveries anyway.” 

“But…” 

She scooted closer and squeezed his hand. “I’ll set up a memo on your voicemail, and put something up on the website. Don’t worry.” 

Barret chuckled and pulled Cloud into his lap. “You spoil him, Tifa.” 

“Me? No way!” She seemed genuinely offended, but even in the dull light, Cloud could see the pink flare in her cheeks. “I-I just--”

“You make Dezzie and Marl eat their vegetables, but don’t notice when chocobo boy here picks around them.” 

“Hey!” 

Barret noogied Tifa’s head with his short arm, and the precarious balance sent the three of them flopping back onto the bed, Cloud tucked in the middle. They laughed and snuggled in closer together. 

“I’ll do like…one delivery tomorrow. Just a morning one,” Cloud said. “That’s a compromise, right?” 

“I guess,” Tifa huffed. “Then you take the kids to school.” 

“All right.” 

Barret yawned, then leaned over to turn off the lamp, leaving them blanketed in darkness. “Well get some sleep if you’re gonna be up early,” he grunted. He turned to his side, away from Cloud, but kept himself flush against him. 

Cloud’s arm drifted over Barret’s side, but Tifa tugged on his other arm. When he rolled over, he met her in a soft, lingering kiss. “Good night,” she whispered. “Love you.” 

He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. “Love you, too.” 

In the dark warmth between his two partners, Cloud felt himself drift off quicker than usual.  _ I’m lucky…all things considered.  _


	4. There's an ordinary world somehow I have to find.

Cloud awoke on his own, without his alarm, when the sun was still rising. Immediately, he noticed there was something odd. Set pieces in the room were the same--the closet, the chest of drawers, the vanity--wait, was there always a vanity? He shook his head, squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them again.  _ That’s it. The window’s on the wrong side. The sun doesn’t come in because the window in here faces west.  _

He threw the sheets off him and dashed to the door. The cold hardwood was ice on his bare feet, and he briefly realized that he was still in a sleeping t-shirt and boxer briefs. Cloud took a second to pull it out and look at the shirt: it was gray, faded, and had a moogle printed on it.  _ Marlene picked that out for my birthday last year. At least that’s right.  _ Taking a deep breath, he turned around and found a pair of sweatpants lying near the bed.  _ Just take a sec, Cloud. No need to rush around and jump to conclusions. It could be just a dream.  _

_ Probably.  _

He tried not to notice how tangible the fabric of the sweatpants felt in his hands as he put them on. They were a size too big, and he had to yank on the drawstring in order for them to stay on his hips at all.  _ Are these Barret’s? He doesn’t wear stuff like this. They’re too big for me… _

More or less clothed, he opened the door of the bedroom and snuck around the top floor. He expected to find a bathroom immediately next door, followed by a second bedroom before the staircase. Instead, the bedroom opened up immediately to a staircase, with a small loft area guarded by railings.  _ Where’s Denzel and Marlene’s room?  _ The floor creaked beneath his feet as he slowly descended the stairs.  _ What is this place? I thought I was over all those mako hallucinations… _

Voices murmured from below the stairs. “Oh, I think he’s up.” 

Cloud froze.  _ That voice…I can almost recognize it.  _ His knees went weak, but he willed them to keep walking, taking each step one at a time. His knuckles were pure white as he gripped the railing for dear life. His adrenaline surged further as footsteps echoed toward him. A shadow appeared in the entryway to the kitchen, growing taller and taller. 

Zack stepped out, hair brushing the top of the doorframe, with a sunny grin. “Hey, hey!” he greeted. He was in pajamas as well--a tanktop paired with flannel pajamas covered in cactuars. “Morning, sleepyhead. We’ve got coffee going for you.” 

Cloud couldn’t breathe. His head swam. “Za…” he stuttered, but couldn’t even finish that.  _ Zack. Zack. Zack. You’re dead. But you’re here. And you’re offering me coffee. And who’s “we”? And where am I? Is this “our” house? _

He made it one step further, just one. Zack’s face started to furrow in concern. “Cloud? Are you okay?” he asked, and took two strides to make it over to him. “You look like you’re gonna be sick. Take it easy…” 

Zack reached out to him, but Cloud caught him first, gripping him in a fierce hug. He hugged him so tightly against his chest, he could feel his heartbeat. He buried his face in the crook of his shoulder, hot tears streaming down his face.  _ How is this real? How is this real? I can smell his hair, I can feel his shirt, I can feel his  _ heartbeat,  _ what the hell is going on?  _

“Hey, easy, easy buddy,” Zack soothed, returning his hug by rubbing his back. “Did you have a nightmare again?”

“I…I don’t…I don’t…” Cloud felt like a blubbering idiot. He always hated crying in front of Tifa and Barret--it still would happen, but he made strenuous effort to keep it controlled, contained, confined. Now, with  _ Zack Fair  _ in front of him, living and breathing, he was reduced to nothing but raw emotions, a mix of which were pouring out like an uncorked bottle of champagne.  _ I feel like I’m 16 again,  _ Cloud thought, clumsily grasping at Zack’s hair,  _ and I don’t really know how much I actually  _ like  _ that. _

Zack sat down with him and touched their foreheads together. “I’m here, okay?” He rubbed his thumb across his cheek, wiping some of the tears away. Much to Cloud’s surprise, he kissed his cheek as well, and this small affection made his vision double. “You don’t have to worry. Okay?” 

He pulled him to his chest and lifted his head. “Hey, Aer?” he called. “C’mere a sec…” 

_ Aer? Aerith? Aerith is here too?  _ Cloud remembered the last time he saw her alive, and his stomach lurched.  _ I’m going to pass out.  _

Gentle pattering caused by the slap of slippers on hardwood reached them. Cloud stayed hidden in Zack’s chest, even as gentle fingertips stroked his hair. “Cloud? Baby, what’s wrong?” she asked. 

_ There’s no denying that,  _ he thought, peeking one eye out.  _ That’s Aerith Gainsborough, the flower of the slums, the last Cetra, the woman who told me “I’ll be back when it’s all over”.  _ He sniffled hard and managed to focus on her.  _ So, is it? _

Her hair wasn’t in its usual braid, but swept back into a low ponytail. Concern was written all over her face, but her green eyes still sparkled just as he remembered. She was simply dressed in an oversized t-shirt and pajama pants that were also too big for her--these ones had a moogle pattern on them, very similar to his own shirt.  _ That’s the matching set,  _ he thought, barely in his own head at all.  _ There’s a lot to unravel here.  _

“Aerith,” he whispered. 

She leaned closer, and he reached out with one hand and caressed her face. She held it against hers, stroking the back of his palm with a serene look that most certainly didn’t match his. Cloud’s face crumpled, and more tears fell fresh from his eyes, brimming as his own heart overflowed.  _ This has to be a dream. But her hands are so soft, and it feels so real. I feel so much. I’m feeling too much.  _

_ But, if it’s a dream, then it’s a good dream. _

Hastily, he grabbed the bottom of his shirt and wiped his face down with it, snot and tears and all. Then, he fumbled forward, pulled Aerith by both of her hands into him, and kissed her. She was caught by surprise, but reciprocated all the same, full lips against his own.  _ Is this what could’ve been? What could’ve been? What is. It’s what is right now.  _

He broke the kiss and looked up to Zack, who had been watching them with a soft smile. “Is it my turn?” he asked. 

Even in his wildest dreams, Cloud couldn’t imagine Zack  _ actually  _ saying that to him in this context. His head felt like it was guided by a string as he nodded, and with anxious hesitation, kissed him as well. While Aerith’s kiss started out soft and grew fierce, Zack’s had the opposite effect--the first moments were needy and all-encompassing, but the last were gentle pecks, affectionate and warm. Aerith embraced both of them from the side, and once Cloud broke the kiss, he stayed huddled in their warmth, holding both of them as tears dripped to the floor. 

_ Is this that perfect world?  _

“Really, is…are you okay, Cloud?” Aerith asked gently. “You’re not usually like this…”

“I…I…” Finally, Cloud found his voice, as watery as it was. “I don’t know…what’s going on. And y-you know…you know what?” He sniffled hard and looked up to both of them. “I don't care. I don’t have to know.” 

Zack and Aerith exchanged a look. “If you say so, hon,” Zack replied. “C’mon, let’s go sit at the table, breakfast is probably gonna be cold.” 

They helped him to his feet, and with arms linked together, walked into the kitchen. It was set with three places, each with a cup of coffee and a piece of toast. Instinctively, Cloud picked the spot nearest the sugar bowl and a glass of orange juice, and the others sat around him. He rubbed his face with the back of his arm again, and put a couple of spoonfuls of sugar in his coffee with a shivering hand.  _ I must be dreaming, no matter how real it seems. I have to be. But, if I can make it last as long as I can-- _

Suddenly, he jerked to a halt and dropped the spoon. On high alert, Zack reached for him immediately. “Tifa,” Cloud said. “Barret. Are they okay? Nothing happened to them?” 

“N-no, Cloud,” Aerith said, speaking slowly and evenly. “They’re living with Marlene in a new development called Edge, a couple miles outside of here. 7th Heaven's still up and running, though.” 

“Are you having memory problems again?” Zack asked. “I know that kept happening when we first got here and you were recovering from mako poisoning, but you haven’t had any of that in a long time…” 

_ When we first got here.  _ Cloud stared at him.  _ We made it to Midgar. We weren’t ambushed. You didn’t die on that cliff.  _ “M-maybe,” he chose to say. “What about Denzel?”

“Who’s Denzel?” 

_ No Denzel. He must be with his birth parents still. They were supposed to move to Sector 5, right? So that means Sector 7 never got blown up because of AVALANCHE. Gods, how far does this go?  _ “I-it doesn’t matter,” Cloud mumbled, staring into his coffee.  _ As long as he’s safe. As long as they’re all safe. I had gotten used to my family, and then I wake up and I’m here with  _

_ (what I really wanted all along) _

_ them…alive… _

Cloud winced to himself, even with Zack and Aerith’s eyes on him.  _ I love them, too. There’s nothing I don’t cherish, but as long as they’re safe and happy…I’m going to indulge in this selfish desire. This world… _

“Why don’t you eat something,” Zack advised. “There are a couple deliveries lined up for you today, but I can take care of ‘em if you want.” 

_ I’m still a delivery boy, huh? Figures.  _ “It’s okay,” Cloud said, picking up a piece of toast. It was slathered with butter, and as soon as he took a bite, he suddenly remembered how hungry he was. Even with it cold, he scarfed it down ferociously. He pawed for the orange juice and drained half the glass at the same time. 

Aerith chuckled. “Look, he’s eating just like you today,” she remarked, sticking her tongue out. 

Zack sipped on his coffee. “Well, that’s a good sign,” he said. “I thought we might have to take you to a hospital or something if you were still feeling bad.” 

“I’m just…I don’t know,” Cloud admitted. “I was in a different world…where a lot of different things happened.” He couldn’t bring himself to say  _ you two were gone.  _ “But…I’m here now.” 

“You are,” Aerith said with a smile.

Tears threatened to overtake him again, but Cloud just chuckled breathily, able to hold them back this time. “And I’m so happy.” He took a deep breath, then he blurted. “I love you.” 

“We love you too,” Zack replied, his face breaking into a half smile. 

“Of course we do,” Aerith added. “Always.” 

Cloud’s heart swelled inside him, and he smiled wider than he could ever remember. 


	5. Well now pride's gone out the window,

The morning passed in a dizzy blur. They finished breakfast, and got distracted on their way upstairs getting dressed. The three of them laid in the bed in their underwear, taking turns kissing each other until their lips were swollen from the attention. It was Aerith who, while straddled between Zack and Cloud, noticed the time on the clock. “Oh shoot,” she huffed. She was halfway through unclasping her bra, but stopped herself, clumsily hooking back the loops. “We shouldn’t do this right now, huh?” 

“Are you sure?” Zack asked, tugging at the band of her panties. “Just a little…” 

“Nuh-uh, a little’s gonna turn into a lot-le, and then your phone’s gonna be ringing off the hook because someone wants an odd job, and Mr. Zack Of All Trades is busy with his pants off.” 

Cloud snickered, one hand around Aerith’s thigh, and the other on Zack’s chest. “I should take care of those deliveries too,” he said. 

“Aw, not you, too!” Zack crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out. 

With a giggle, she kissed the tip of Zack’s nose with a hearty smack, then Cloud’s forehead, and jumped off the bed. She scrounged around in the dresser and began tossing clothes onto the bed while Cloud rolled off it himself. “Here, here’s your stuff, Cloud,” she said. 

The clothes she laid out were familiar--same sleeveless zipper turtleneck, same pants with their matching belts. As he got dressed, he watched Aerith dress in an equally familiar pink dress and red jacket.  _ It’s like nothing ever happened at all. It’s like this world was always waiting for me. This…ordinary world.  _

Zack dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, topped with a leather jacket with the collar popped. As soon as he was zipping up, Aerith ran up to him and took his hands. “Hey, maybe you could get your stuff done early? And if Cloud does too…” She walked her fingers up his chest. “Then we can play.” 

He wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh ho, I’d like that,” he replied. When he glanced up and winked at Cloud, he felt his cheeks grow flush. “Wouldn’t you?” 

“Mmhm,” Cloud replied. Dim memories of being sandwiched between two lovers, although not the same as were in front of him, floated to the top of his mind. The warmth, the touching, the sounds, and most of all, the love, love, love. His heart fluttered.  _ If this morning was just a taste, then…I can’t imagine what I’ll feel when it’s real. I’ll probably die. But, I’ll die happy.  _

_ (“Cloud…earth to Cloud,” Barret said, waving his hand in front of his face.  _

_ He lazily swatted it away. “I’ll be up in a minute,” he slurred.  _

_ Tifa laid half her body on him, skin against skin. “Let me guess,” she said. “Your legs need a minute to remember how to work?”  _

_ “Mmhm,” he said, stroking her hair. “Mm…mmhm…”) _

A moment of melancholy flickered through his chest.  _ Am I living in the real world?  _

He blinked and followed Zack and Aerith down the stairs. He was led down to another set of stairs to a garage, where his motorcycle sat in all its glory. Zack opened up the garage door with one hand, letting the morning light spill on its sparkling, black finish. “Fenrir…!” Cloud gasped. 

“Yes, your baby,” Aerith teased. “She looks good after you shined her up yesterday.” 

“Let’s see, where are you going today...” Zack said, shuffling through some paperwork. He glanced at one, then appeared to find a box that matched it. “Oh, I know where  _ this  _ is going. Here, here…” 

He scribbled a note on the receipt before folding it up and taping it to the top of the box with the address showing. “Tell that grump that he needs to come out for drinks with us sometime, all right?” Zack said. He pulled out some cables and strapped it to the back of the bike with a pat. 

“S-sure,” Cloud replied.  _ I’ll figure out what he’s talking about once I get out of here. If I ask too many more questions, then that’ll just…make things more complicated. I don’t want complicated.  _ His riding gloves were on top of the gas tank, and he stretched the leather over his knuckles as he put them on. “Hey, where are my--”

“Goggles?” Aerith finished for him. She twirled them around her finger before putting them in his hands. “Gotcha covered.” 

_ I don’t want to leave,  _ he thought.  _ But if this world is mine, if this is normal now, then I can have this forever. I can come back, and they’ll be right here.  _ So it was with great hesitation that he mounted his bike, familiar as ever, and wheeled it out into the street. 

“Hey, not so fast,” Zack called after him, and caught him before he reached the edge of the driveway. He pulled his face in and gave him a hearty kiss on the lips. “Love you, man. See you soon.” 

The affection still made his head spin, so all he could do was nod. He wasn’t off the hook yet, as Aerith came up right beside him with a bounce in her step. “My turn!” she chirped, and kissed him as well. “Love you, cutie!” 

Cloud adjusted his goggles over his eyes, watching Zack and Aerith holding hands, beaming at him. “Yeah,” he said lamely, but then cleared his throat. “I love you. I’ll be home soon.” 

“Bye-bye!” Aerith called with a wave. 

Cloud revved the engine, and turned off down the street. He recognized where he was--not Edge, as before, but Midgar, a Midgar above the plate, and without the calamity of Meteorfall. The streets seemed brighter, somehow, and even Shinra’s power plant seemed diminutive at the heart of the city.  _ Those are questions for later,  _ he thought, taking it slow down the street. As soon as he was passed their house--a compact baby blue house that stood out among the whites and yellows--he pulled over.  _ Let’s get this delivery done. Where am I even going… _

He slid back on the seat and pulled the package up. “Shit, really?” he exclaimed out loud. There was no name on this one, but the address was exactly the same as where he had been the day before.  _ That mansion on the outskirts, where Weiss and Genesis were. So they’re still around here too?  _ Cloud shrugged and let the package fall back into place, remounting his bike.  _ Well, that’ll be interesting.  _

There were more direct routes outside of Midgar, but he chose to take a more scenic one, dipping briefly below the plate. He passed by the church where he’d met Aerith what seemed like ages ago--by the looks of it, it was being repaired finally. He took a shortcut through an alley to pass by 7th Heaven, and slowed enough to peek through the window. Barret was behind the bar, while Tifa sat in front of him. Marlene was staring out the window, and quickly dashed outside. _“Cloooooud!”_ she called. 

Her voice caught their attention inside, and both of them waved to him with a smile.  _ Good.  _ Now  _ I know for sure.  _ Still, his heart ached a little as he waved back before speeding off above the plate.  _ Barret, Ti…I hope you’re happy.  _


	6. Where is my friend when I need you most?

It wasn’t as far to get to the mansion from Midgar proper. The scenery was different--the grass had grown in a vibrant green, and the gnarled tree was in full bloom with pale pink flowers. Robins were nesting in it, as Cloud could tell by their blue shells lying at the roots of the tree.  _ A better world indeed,  _ he thought. The mansion itself looked the same, with the same brass door knocker. Package under his arm (this one was lighter, but also felt like there were books in it), he knocked on the door three times.  _ Let’s see who answers this time. Will it be the weirdo in the long jacket, or the has-been rockstar who can’t be bothered to put on a shirt?  _

The door was answered promptly this time, and not by one he expected. 

“Delivery?” Sephiroth said. “You’re coming by earlier than usual.” 

Cloud’s heart dropped into his stomach. He didn’t know whether he was going to faint, throw up, or some combination of both. This man had shoved a sword in his chest and lifted him up with it. He had watched Sephiroth die by his own hand not once, not twice, but  _ three times  _ in his life.  And yet here he was, standing as tall as ever in front of him, wearing a pressed black dress shirt. His hair was just as sleek and silver, eyes just as electric with the same slits…but they didn’t carry the same malice. In fact, he looked tired more than anything, and the more he looked at Cloud, the more his posture withdrew. He crossed his arms tightly across his chest.

“Strife?” he asked. “What’s the matter with you?” 

“You…” Cloud stammered. His hands were clammy beneath his gloves, and he felt his brow grow damp with sweat. “S-Sephiroth?” 

“You’re not having another memory lapse, are you?” he asked. It wasn’t unkind, but it wasn’t warm either. Sephiroth rolled his fingers against his arm. 

Cloud swallowed hard and forced himself to hold the package in front of him, in an attempt to hand it over.  _ If Sephiroth is here, then he never fell into that reactor at Nibelheim…that, or he survived it and didn’t lose his mind and burn it down. Or was it the other way around? I can’t remember details from back then anymore. I can barely fucking think as it is.  _ “N-no, I just…” he struggled. “I just…didn’t…expect you…” 

“I could say the same.” Sephiroth sighed suddenly and held his head. “Ugh…” he grunted, then glanced back. “Angeal? Will you come here? It’s just a delivery…” 

A man that Cloud didn’t quite recognize came to the door beside him. At first glance, he looked a lot like Zack, but his features were a lot fuller, along with an older face in general. His hair was cut shorter, and he had a well manicured goatee along his chin. “Oh, hey Cloud!” he greeted, then patted Sephiroth’s shoulder. “You okay?” 

“I need to take my medication,” he muttered, eyes flicking over to Cloud. “Good…to see you.”

With that, Sephiroth disappeared inside. “I’ll take that, thanks,” Angeal said, pulling the package from Cloud’s hands. “I think he gets some attacks after…y’know, what happened with you and him.” 

Cloud nodded. “R-right.”  _ So did Nibelheim happen? I don’t even fucking know anymore. Does it matter?  _

_ (does it?)  _

The wind picked up as Angeal flipped over the receipt and read the note. He chuckled. “Oh, Zack,” he muttered. “Tell him we can make plans with Seph soon if he’s feeling up to it.” 

“Sure thing.” 

He leaned back to call into the house. “Oy, Gen! Your books came in. Gen?” 

Distantly, Sephiroth answered. “He’s not in here. I don’t know where he is.” 

Angeal shrugged with a sigh. “Oh, well. Thanks anyway,” he said, then waved. “You’ve got places to be, yeah? I won’t keep you.”

“Right. Yeah.” The anxiety still hadn’t quite left Cloud, but he could hold himself without shaking anymore.  _This Angeal guy is nice, anyway. I'll ask Zack about him later._ “I’ll see you.” 

He heard the door shut behind him as he walked back to his bike.  _ Well, that was a scare,  _ he thought, shaking his head.  _ Guess there are more surprises here than I thought. Sephiroth did seem…normal. Everything seems normal. _

“Isn’t that right?”

Another gust of wind kicked up, and Cloud whirled around. Genesis stood above him on the roof of the house, red coat flapping in the wind, and a black wing at his back. Black feathers drifted in the air, and the sun dipped behind a cloud, casting a shadow around them. “What the…” Cloud uttered.

“Isn’t it beautiful here?” he presented, gesturing around him. “Isn’t this place just… _ perfect?”  _

He jumped off the roof and landed on the ground in front of him with a  _ whump.  _ “What are you getting at?” Cloud said with suspicion.

“It’s like dipping into the Lifestream,” he continued. “We dance with the dead, in a world too good to be true. A facsimile of reality, a place where all is well, where tragedy hasn’t befallen us--” 

“Cut it out.”

“--where we can satiate our doubt and loneliness in the hands of our deepest desires--” 

_ “Shut up, windbag!”  _ Cloud snapped. Genesis stopped to sneer at him, and Cloud’s blood began to boil. “Get to the point!” 

“I’ll get to the fucking point,” Genesis hissed. He swaggered over to him, one slow step at a time. “Tell me something, Cloud Strife--can  _ you  _ bring back the dead?” 

“No,” he replied. The grass at his feet began to turn yellow and wither. 

“Right,” he said. Genesis got right in his face, and his voice dropped. “So, what are we doing here?” 

Cloud pushed him away. “Get out of my head.” 

“You’re dreaming, Cloud!” Genesis taunted. The sky grew darker and darker, and lightning began to tremble in the black clouds above. “This world, where you can be with the ones you cherish most…” 

He glanced back at the mansion, tilting his head all the way back. “…they’re not real. They’re only real in your mind…” 

“Get out of my head!” Cloud repeated.  _ “Damn it, get out of my head!  _

_ “Get out! Get out! Get--!” _

* * *

 

Cloud jerked awake with a terrible start, clutching his chest and panting in the dark. “Fuck,” he panted, shaking and out of breath. “Oh, ohh…” 

“Cloud?” a sleepy Aerith murmured beside him. “Whassamatter?” 

Thin relief flooded him as he tried to control his breathing. “Nothing,” he said. “Just a…” 

He reached beside him, but the bed was empty. The entire room began to warp, soaked in a strange, iridescent green glow.  _ Cloud, Cloud, Cloud  _ it chanted, taking on several voices at once.  _ Are you all right? Are you okay?  _

_ We miss you… _

“No, no, no…!” Cloud held his head, fingers grabbing his hair and tugging on it. He was floating in space, shapes of spirits and bodies circling around him. Several looked like Aerith, some like Zack, some even like Sephiroth, swarming around him. They continued to chant his name. Cloud. Cloud.  _ Cloud. Cloud.  _

_ Are you awake? Are you alive?  _

_ Where is your reality?  _

_ What is your ordinary world?  _

_ Wake up! Stop dreaming!  _

_ “Giving the last person you could possibly connect to a nightmare? You really haven’t changed at all, have you?”  _

_ Cloud! Cloud! Cloud! _

_ “Goddess, no…!” _

_ Wake up! _


	7. I will learn to survive.

Cloud woke up again--this time, in daylight, and this time, more grounded. The window was on the correct side of the bedroom, filtering residual light instead of the direct sun. Slowly, he sat up in bed and stared at his hands.  _ So, it was a dream. _

_ Of course it was.  _

His eyes drifted from the window to the dresser, where there were a couple of picture frames standing. He stood up and walked over to them, slow and groggy.  _ Rufus Shinra dug up a bunch of old company pictures.  _ He ran his thumb over one of the frames.  _ Most of them he gave me are in an album, but I saved this one out.  _

It was a picture of him and Zack, taken somewhere in the headquarters. Zack was beaming and giving the photographer a peace sign. His arm was around Cloud’s neck, who was still in a standard issue uniform, with a red face and a crooked smile. The present Cloud smiled at it.  _ I don’t even remember when that was taken,  _ he thought.  _ But, it still makes me feel warm.  _

The other was a casual shot at a chocobo farm. Cloud was petting a chocobo while talking to Aerith. In the corner of the shot, he could see half of Yuffie about to run by.  _ I guess Reeve took this one as Cait Sith? There were a bunch of others too, but most of the film got damaged. This is one of a handful of surviving photos.  _

The door creaked, and when he drew his attention to it, Denzel was standing in the doorway, already dressed. “Ack--!” Cloud yelped, heart jumping right into his throat. He sighed and took a deep breath. “How long have you been standing there?” 

Denzel stared at his feet. “Uh, a little bit,” he mumbled. “M…Tifa says you missed breakfast, but said it was okay if you slept in.” 

Cloud nodded, then sat on the bed and patted the spot next to it so Denzel could join him. “Can I ask you something, Dez?” 

“Sure.” 

He looked up at him with wide, blue eyes, and Cloud put an arm around his shoulder. “Do you ever miss your birth parents?” he asked.

Denzel looked off, then he shrugged. “I guess,” he replied. “I don’t think about them much anymore. It’s been a long time.”

_ Four years isn’t that long,  _ Cloud mused,  _ but maybe it is when you’re a kid.  _ “Is that bad?” Denzel asked suddenly.

“No,” he replied, stroking his hair. “It’s just how you feel.”

They were quiet for a moment. Denzel leaned against him. “I mean…you and Tifa and Barret have been taking care of me, so I don’t have to worry about anything,” he said. 

“That’s what we’re aiming for,” Cloud replied quietly. 

He inhaled deep and let it out slowly.  _ We probably would’ve made a family of our own,  _ he reflected.  _ It just hadn’t happened yet. I wish I hadn’t dreamt that. A day where my heart finally didn’t ache, and now it does again.  _ He tried to soothe himself by focusing on the softness of Denzel’s hair, and it almost worked.  _ Old wounds that get ripped open again and again.  _

_ Does it ever stop?  _

“Cloud?” Denzel piped up. “Um...D-Dad?” 

The same pride surged through him, and he felt a little lighter. “Yeah?” 

“Thank you.”

He smiled. “No,” he replied. “Thank  _ you.”  _

Cloud leaned over and kissed his head, then caught the time on the clock. “Shoot, you’ve got to get to school,” he muttered into his hair. He patted his head to usher him off the couch. “I’ll be down in a sec, ask Barret or Ti if they can take you over.” 

“Got it.”

He got up and jogged away, leaving Cloud to hastily get dressed. It only took him a second, and he was downstairs before Denzel even hit the kitchen. Marlene already had her backpack on and was bouncing beside the table, and Barret and Tifa were both at the sink. All eyes turned to him as he reached the kitchen, and Cloud suddenly wanted to shrink. “H-hey,” he said. “I know I said I would--”

Tifa straightened up, studying him. “It’s okay,” she said. “Barret?” 

“I got it.” He walked over to Cloud and hugged him, then murmured in his ear. “You were tossing and crying in your sleep. Figured you wouldn’t be up for it.” 

Cloud sighed deeply, wanting to melt into his chest.  _ I’m fine. This life is fine, it’s  _ good.  _ There’s no use dreaming...of what I can’t have.  _ “Thanks...so much.”

Barret lifted his chin and kissed him, quick and soft. He smiled, then addressed the kids. “All right, let’s get going,” he said. “Dez, you ready?” 

“I’m all set.” He had a messenger bag slung over his shoulder, and waved shyly to Cloud. “Feel better.” 

Marlene was a bit more oblivious. “Bye-bye, Cloud! Buh-bye, Tifa!” She waved with gusto, skipping out the front door. “Dezzie, c’mon!” 

With her lead, they left out the entryway and through the front door, leaving Tifa and Cloud alone in the kitchen. Tifa wicked her hands off in the sink and toweled them with a stray dishrag. “You had a nightmare?” she asked.

“It didn’t start out that way,” he said. “I was with...them again. Both of them. It was nice. It felt  _ normal.”  _

Tifa approached him tentatively, cupping her hands in his own. “I saw some other people too. And Sephiroth. But even he was normal. It felt so real.” He finally met her eyes. “I made sure you two were okay. Denzel wasn’t there, but it--”

“It’s okay,” she murmured. “You don’t have to worry about that.” 

“But…”

“I think it’s funny you even looked for us at all.” 

She smiled warmly, brown eyes glowing in the morning sun.  _ Tifa…  _ “I just...I’m happy here,” he said, feeling his throat start to close in. “I thought I was doing okay, but if all it takes is one dream that felt real enough--”

Tifa squeezed his hands. “Hey,” she said. “Don’t worry about that, okay? I’m just...I’m glad you’re telling me these things now, instead of bottling them up.” 

_ Right,  _ he thought.  _ The last time that was happening was when I had the geostigma. And then Sephiroth came back.  _

_ (“Isn’t it beautiful here?”) _

His eye twitched.  _ Genesis was in my dream. And it looked like he knew he was there. What was that about…? _

Tifa was looking away. “I...had a dream about Aerith the other day,” she admitted. Her voice grew smaller and smaller. “It felt like home.” 

_ Ah.  _ Cloud traced the pink ribbon tied around her arm, and ran his thumb down the side of it. “So do you,” he whispered.

She bit her lip. “So do you.” 

They kissed deeply in the kitchen.

The moment settled between them as they broke, quiet and slow. _I’ll be all right,_ he said. _I have my family here, my_ real _ordinary world. That’s enough. They’d be happy for me...right? Right. _

“Oh,” Tifa said, snapping her fingers. “Right, I meant to tell you…” 

She held onto him even as she reached for the kitchen table, pulling a handwritten note up. “No deliveries today, but someone left this taped to the door.” 

Cloud raised an eyebrow. “That’s...weird.” He sighed and took the note, then pulled her against him in a hug. “I’ll take care of it, I guess.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah. This’ll be the only thing. Then I’ll be home.”

“...Will you take me out on a ride?”

“Sure, Ti.” 

“Promise you’ll wear a helmet.” 

“I’ve only got one, and it’s for you.”

“Oh, for crying out loud, Cloud…”

They shared a chuckle, and while Tifa rubbed her head against Cloud’s chest, he unfolded the note with one hand. It was written in low-peaked cursive and red ink. 

_ “Cloud— _ _   
_ _ Meet me where the Lifestream rose to the surface. Meet me where the water heals. _ _   
_ __ —G.”


	8. Ours is just a little sorrowed talk.

The road to the church was still well traveled, but Cloud was surprised the building was still standing at all. Some of the stained glass was still intact, and there were just enough pillars to keep the walls upright. Yellow flowers poked up beneath the floorboards, and bloomed fully in patches where the wood had rotted away. 

In the center was a fountain, full of standing water that lacked the glow it had those couple years ago. On the edge, faced away from him, Genesis stood staring up into the skylight. Although his wing was absent, the red coat and chopped hair was giveaway enough. “I’m here,” Cloud greeted. “What do you want?” 

Genesis said nothing. Cloud huffed and sat opposite him, facing away. A few minutes passed. He flicked open his phone to track it, noting to himself how it was probably a good idea he was convinced to take the day off.

“You dreamt last night,” Genesis finally said. Despite being turned away, the church gave enough echo for him to be heard clearly. 

“Yeah,” Cloud replied. “Was that because of you?” 

“I long for those who are dead as well,” he continued, not answering Cloud’s question. “My friends were heroes, you see. I wanted to be like them…so badly. I loved them more than anything.

“I also drove them to ruin.”

Cloud turned his head. He definitely didn’t ask for this. But, he had the time. 

“We were torn apart--we abandoned each other when we needed it. I was the one who told Sephiroth about his true origin...and look what it did! I was rotting, damn it, and we were all going to if we didn’t find a way to stop it…” 

He sighed, pausing for effect. “I’m the only one left. Sephiroth is gone, Angeal is gone. Even Zack Fair, the puppy with more courage than a head, is gone.” 

_ You don’t need to tell me twice,  _ Cloud thought, and grit his teeth.

“I’m the hero that needs to stand in their place. And yet, when those vagrants in Deepground asked me to rebel against what was left of SOLDIER...I refused. I slept underground, in a liminal space between reality and the Lifestream...and by the Goddess, I was entranced by it. I could almost hear their voices...the ones I had lost…” 

Cloud turned around enough to watch him. Sure enough, he was gesticulating as if he were on a stage, enraptured in his own soliloquy. “I saw as Sephiroth was  _ ripped  _ from the Lifestream--twice! Jenova used his likeness to wreak havoc she wanted, by that Hojo bastard who  _ poisoned  _ us, experimented on us--on you!” He pointed backwards, but still didn’t quite turn around. “I remember you, the nobody who followed Fair around, still tainted by Hojo’s work. Who knew it would be you and your friends that would rise up?” 

_ We kind of let a meteor fall into the city, but whatever floats your boat.  _ Cloud rubbed his temples. “What’s your point?” he grumbled.

“Weiss awoke me from the depths, brought me back here--but the world I knew had changed. Though I knew vaguely what happened, through the swimming and humming, I was powerless to stop it--”

“Come on,  _ come on,”  _ Cloud said, louder. “I don’t need to know your whole fucking life story.” 

Finally, Genesis decided to look at him with scorn. “How… _ impatient,”  _ he remarked. 

Cloud shook his head in disbelief. “Are you going to answer my question?” 

“What question?” 

_ “Why did you bring me here.  _ Did you make me have that dream?  _ Why?”  _

Genesis sighed deeply, and held his hand in front of his face, tilted down. Then, he swung his arm outwards, unfurling his one black wing to its full wingspan. Cloud assumed this was supposed to be dramatic and impressive, but all he felt was disdain.  _ If I wanted to see a performance, I would’ve gone to a theatre and bought a Gods damned ticket.  _

“‘Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul,” he recited, slowly lifting his head. “‘Pride is lost; wings stripped away, the end is nigh.’” He met Cloud’s eyes. “We share the same dream.” 

“I…don’t think so,” Cloud replied. 

“What?” Genesis’ stare grew more intense. “Don’t you want to be reunited with your lost loved ones? Don’t you want to live a simple life with them? Don’t you want to be free of the torment of the wretched past you’ve been through?” 

His voice echoed in the church, and his face fell from anguished disbelief to slumped despair. Genesis’ fists clenched, then relaxed, his head lolling to the side. “Isn’t it…?” he uttered.

Cloud bit his lip. “Sure,” he started slowly, “But it's just like you said before: I can't bring back the dead.”

He expected Genesis to come back with something, but he stayed quiet for once. His wing began to curl back inward to more of a resting state. “I have people I love who are still here,” Cloud continued. “I’m making the most of it with them. I told myself I wasn’t gonna live in the past anymore, and even if there are times…” 

The vision of Zack and Aerith at the kitchen table flashed in his head, and it stopped him dead in his sentence. His throat choked, but he forced himself to swallow it down and keep going. “…Even if there are times when I really want to…it’s one day at a time.” 

Genesis’ eye began to twitch. “Tch,” he grunted. “I thought you of all people would understand.”

_ Does this guy only know how to talk and not listen?  _ “No, I  _ do,”  _ Cloud reiterated. “What I’m hearing is that you’re really lonely.” 

Somehow, this only continued to provoke him. “Don’t  _ mock me,”  _ he hissed. 

“I’m not mocking you!” 

_ “Don’t mock me!”  _ he shouted, and began to flap his wing, hovering in the air. “If anyone I ever cared about weren’t  _ dead,  _ maybe I could fall back on them! I’m not  _ graced  _ the same way you are! I’m still the fucking monster Shinra made me!” His lashing anger, showcased in glowing eyes and bared teeth, suddenly was accompanied by a cracked, watery voice. “All I wanted was to be somebody! And live…and love…and… _ augh!”  _

With an anguished cry, he shot up into the rafters, leaving feathers behind in his wake. “Hey!” Cloud called, then sighed.  _ He’s really annoying,  _ he thought, staring up into the skylight.  _ This whole conversation could’ve taken maybe a minute. We didn’t even need to have it at all. But all the same… _

_ …I do feel bad for him. He’s got to be really lonely.  _

Despite his better judgement, he cupped his hands to his mouth and took a deep breath. “Hey, if you’re still there!” he shouted. “And if you ever become a little less insufferable…” He lowered his voice to a more conventional volume. “You know where I am. Where we are.”

_ He really felt he had a connection…he must have, if our “dreams” were able to coexist fluidly like that. How long has he been trying to “live” that dream? Why did he sabotage it for the sake of antagonizing me? There are more questions than answers.  _

_ If I don’t see him again, it might be for the best.  _

_ But, we’ll see. _

He flicked open his phone and sent a text message addressed to both Barret and Tifa.  _ “>>Headed back. Let’s go out together,”  _ he wrote.  _ At any rate…no more dreams. Just this world, just this life. I know they’re watching over me, and that’s good enough for me.  _

_ Time to go home. _

Cloud picked five yellow flowers in a small bouquet before as he left the church. On a second thought, before he exited, he grabbed a sixth.

* * *

 

Genesis did hear every word that Cloud said. He perched himself on the roof of the church, hiding himself in his own wing with a hand over his mouth. “Maybe I am too far gone,” he muttered into it.  _ But he didn’t outright reject you,  _ he thought in contrast.  _ Perhaps there is hope for you, the last of Shinra’s elite, deserter, _

_ you angry, hostile shell of a man, embittered by loneliness.  _

_ Because he was right--you are lonely, _

_ and even you can’t bring back the dead.  _

“‘Even if the morrow is barren of promises,’” he recited to himself, rising to his feet. “‘Nothing shall forestall my return…’”

With that, he flew up into the cloudless blue sky, and disappeared off the Midgar horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of feelings behind this piece…I think it's common to be perfectly content with your life and make peace with your circumstances, but still want something completely implausible. I love found families and I want Cloud to be happy with everybody. And I think everyone who grows fond of Genesis wants to create a post-DoC scenario with him. Hey, at least I didn't write the screenplay about that, a Google doc titled "this is the 2nd or 3rd worst idea i've ever had"!
> 
> [I think this song also fits some of the mood of this piece too.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qigUgJHF-Q)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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